In this post pandemic world, Mothers are feeling more overwhelmed than ever before. Career changes, a financial crisis, unstable governments, all whilst trying to put out fires at home – invest in our self care, children, relationships. It can be, well…. a lot.
It’s easy to get caught up in the overwhelm trap, you’re standing in your kitchen at 4pm. You have a fussy baby, a sick toddler. You need to go food shopping, again. Someone needs help with their homework, you’ve not ticked a single thing off your to do list or managed to get to the laundry thats been in the machine all day. There are no clean plates, and you probably just stepped in some Lego.
I get it, I’ve been there. But what if I told you it didn’t have to be this way – well, at least most of the time. This is not where you want to set up camp. There are periods of feeling overwhelmed in motherhood – newborns, house moves, sickness. However as you move through these peiods, know when it’s time to rise up and come through the other side. Because, as we well know – woman are well practised at rising high above the ashes when everything is crumbling.
Here are 5 simple Mindset shifts you can dive into regularily to help pull yourself up when you start to feel like it’s all getting too much. I practice these frequently, and it’s completely changed my perspective, days and motherhood for the better.
1. Get cosy with Meditating.
I know meditation is a bit of a buzzword, and you’re probably thinking “I have a million kids! When the hell do I have time to meditate!?” but here me out.. it gets to be simple. I believe Mums need meditation more than most people, it gives you a moment just for you to get your head in the game and tune back into yourself for a moment – however brief.
Find a time that works for you, I like to listen with my headphones when I’m out with the pushchair, first thing in the morning or as I drift off to sleep. Find a way that works with you and your life, you can even have one on in the background as you wash some dishes – you don’t need an hour of quiet in an empty room. Install an app, or just search through you tube, go for something that matches how you want to feel. So if you’ve been super anxious, find one that’s calming to help ease your thoughts. It does not have to be super long, 5 minutes of meditation a day can literally transform your whole life.
2. Get yourself a journal and actually use it.
Getting those thoughts out onto paper can help immensely, however that works for you. You may find the notepad on your phone or a google drive document easier, whatever works. It can help you get clear on your to do list (and what can be eradicated from it), your goals and feelings.
Try gogling some prompts – you may be surpised what come up. As mums we spend alot of our day invested in other people and juggling all the things, its easy to go through our days on autopilot. Getting things down on paper can help give you perspecive, clarity and intention. Try starting with the prompt… “wouldn’t it be cool if….” and see what comes up for you. This will give you space to workthrough the things that actually matter to you.
3. Visulaise your perfect day.
You have the power within you to create your ideal life – manifestation is a powerful tool. Find a moment to dig out your journal, pour some tea and try to visualise your ideal day. How you feel, what you wear, eat. Where you go, how you spend money, how you interact with your children, friends, partner. Down to the tiniest detail – what lipstick you wear, whats in your wardrobe – how your home looks and smells. What your house is like, what you do for work – how much of the day do you work? You may be surprised what comes up.
Once you’ve done this – compare it to what you are actually living. Where have you been feeling overwhelmed? Where can you make a change? To get to where you want to be.
The key here is to now make descions based on your ideal life, not the current one – to get you where you want to be. For example if you visualised yourself waking up before your kids, making a smoothie and doing some Yoga – start actually doing it. Start living your life how your ideal self would, then watch it become your reality.
4. Declutter your social media and step away from the phone.
How often do you find yourself scrolling through social media only to finish feeling depleated, less than and depressed? Looking at everyone elses edited life high light reels and wishing you had their hair / home / holiday / relationship etc etc.
If the content you are consuming does not inspire you, make you laugh or teach you something valuable – kick it to the curb. Unfollow, unfollow, unfollow. Even if you genuinely like someone but feel crappy everytime you view their feed because you don’t see them enough or wish you could afford that holiday they went on, it’s ok to let it go. You did not sign a contract in the heavens when you liked someones page or started following them on instagram. If it doesn’t serve you, let it go.
Then try not checking your phone first thng in the morning if you’ve been feeling overwhelmed – if you can help it, or at least social media. Not untill everyone is where they need to be and your head is in the game. It’s such a huge vortex of time that it can feel like a huge relief just to not look at it for a while. Just because something pings – an email, a group whatsapp – does not mean you have to respond immediately. Not unless you’re a fire fighter or a brain surgeon on call that is.
5. Get grounded with daily affirmations.
Anchor in with some daily affirmations to help you feel grounded and more connected to yourself. You can tweak and change them to whatever you need, but practise some simple statements to say to yourself and write down, you can even save them as alarms on your phone as a daily reminder! Words are powerful, and what we think and speak we start to believe. Try some that work for you, if you need some inspiration snag my Motherhood Mindset Toolkit below – its free and packed with affirmations to try and the perfect free resource of you’ve been feeling overwhelmed.
If you enjoyed this blog pop me a message or comment – I’d love to hear from you! You’ll also love My Tips on letting go of mum guilt – which you can read about here. You can find me on my Instagram at @twinsandthings13.com so drop by there and we can virtually hang out! To never miss a blog join the twins and things community here, see ya soon mama x